I Was Stuck Between Low Self-Esteem and Daydreams About How My Life Could Be…
Let me tell you a little bit about my story. I think it’s a pretty common one.
I didn’t have atrociously bad self-esteem but I was down on myself quite a lot during my teens and early twenties.
I didn’t feel like I deserved all that much.
So I held myself back from the success I wanted. I self-sabotaged (often before I had hardly begun). In love, with my health and with going for the opportunities and dreams I had.
This went on for too many years. Until one day when I had enough of feeling like this about myself. And of always just standing still and stuck in daydreams about what could be.
Something just had to change.
So I went to work to figure out how I could raise my own self-esteem.
I wanted to figure out the practical steps I could take. The habits and routines of people with high self-esteem and the best strategies and exercises that I could use to take me there.
I wanted what actually worked in reality and in the long-term (so I wouldn’t be right back where I started a few weeks or months later).
Now, it took me several years to do that.
But in the end I created my own mental toolbox for feeling good about myself and to keep my self-esteem up and keep going for what I deep down want.
Even in the face of setbacks, rejection or negativity from other people.
And without this inner change I would most likely not had:
- Dared to believe in myself and my own business idea. And so I went from working on a small hobby experiment called The Positivity Blog – back when no-one even knew what a blog was or that you could make a living online – a few nights a week to shaping it into the solid full-time business that it is today.
- Lost 26 pounds and gotten in shape. I wanted to feel better. So I ate more. And gained plenty of weight. With better self-esteem I finally started to question this. I felt that I deserved more and needed to treat myself better. So during 4 months I lost 26 pounds and got into way better shape. A shape I still maintain to this day.
- Met my wonderful wife. I simply didn’t date for several years in my twenties. Not until I started to improve my self-esteem and I started to feel more deserving. That lead to many dates and finally to one cold and dark winter evening when I met my wife. And I honestly think that if I hadn’t done this inner work then I wouldn't have had a chance with such a great woman. Or not self-sabotaged my way out of it along our so far 7 year long journey together.
Now, just to get going with this inner change took me quite some time. But the truth is that there’s a way to get started on this path today…
3 Common and Destructive Myths About Self-Esteem
Improving self-esteem is not just something that is close to my heart because it's made a huge difference in my own life.
Another reason is that every month I hear from readers and read in the papers how low self-esteem is dragging people down and restricting their lives.
And a third - and a more frustrating - reason is that I’ve over the years discovered myths and misconceptions that mislead and hold people back from making this change in their own lives.
Let me share 3 of the most common ones.
Myth #1: You’re either born with or you’re not.
This is a myth that I’ve heard hundreds of times and that held me back for many years.
I simply thought that things were set in stone when it came to more abstract areas of self-improvement like self-esteem and self-confidence. And that was all there was to it.
I later learned that yes, some people get a head-start on this in life. But also that we all have big, big room to improve.
Myth #2: You have to jump in with both feet in one courageous leap.
And you have to take massive action for anything to change about your self-esteem.
This myth makes things uncomfortable.
And it makes many back down and stay still because making that change seems too scary or like something only a few courageous people could do.
But that's simply not the truth. You can take it step by step. And small steps that you actually take make a world of difference compared to grandiose dreams that just stay daydreams.
Yes, you have to sometimes go deep and get to know yourself better to improve your self-esteem.
But you can do it one step at a time. And take a small step when you need to. That’s OK.
Myth #3: “You just have to love yourself.”
Sometimes when people say this then it’s certainly well meaning.
But I think that a lot of the time it’s just empty platitudes or someone trying to sell very vague advice when they say something like that.
And when you try to apply something like that or another old favorite like “just be yourself!” to your life you get frustrated and feel like you’ve wasted your time and nothing will change.
Introducing The Self-Esteem Course
A Simple and Practical Step-by-Step Program
The Self-Esteem Course is a digital and downloadable 12-week course.
It will give you the same exact tools, exercises and strategies that helped me to finally change my self-esteem and life.
Many of the strategies and exercises in this course are things I’ve never even mentioned on The Positivity Blog or in the Positivity Newsletter before.
Here's what you'll get each week:
- The written guide. This guide includes a section with just a few easy-to-follow action-steps to take that week. This is to make sure that things stay practical and that you move forward and make progress (even if it may sometimes be by just taking one or a few small steps).
- The audio version of the written guide. An audio session that you can listen to in your car, on the bus, while taking a walk or whenever you have the time (or need a boost during your day).
- A worksheet. You’ll also get a worksheet each week where I’ll share the powerful exercises that helped me to understand myself and my self-esteem better and that’ll help you to apply what you learn to your specific situation and life.
"I joined Self-Esteem Course at a time of hardship and struggle.
I’d hit the biggest bump of my entire life and didn’t know how to get out of the rut, but slowly, by listening to the lessons and filling out the worksheets, I learned to talk back to my inner critic and find healthier ways to handle my feelings.
I’ve retained all the lessons from that difficult time and my life is far happier and richer for it."
- Sarah Moore, course participant.
Here’s What You’ll Learn...
So the Self-Esteem Course is a 12-week course. And it will help you to build your own mental self-esteem tool-box that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life (no matter what happens).
Now, let me be more specific. Here are the most important things you'll learn...
- Why it’s so important to talk back to your inner critic (and I’ll give you two simple and specific techniques for doing that).
- How to see things for how they really are and find a more balanced and nuanced perspective towards yourself and your world by using step-by-step - and for many quite eye-opening - exercises.
- Uncover and reclaim your inner core of unchanging self-esteem.
- Recognize 11 of the most common thought habits that keep people’s self-esteem down. And I'll show you the best techniques and strategies to counter, handle and replace each one of these thought habits with something healthier.
- How to become more assertive by using 3 simple rules for saying no (and what to do if someone gets pushy even after you’ve said no).
- The 7 steps for asking for what you want (and make it more likely to get it).
- How you can replace perfectionism with healthier and happier habits that will help you to get more done with less stress and anxiety.
- Why the habit of feeling like you should or ought to do or think something is so sneaky and can have a powerful negative effect on your self-esteem and life (and what to do about that).
- How to handle mistakes and failure in a way that allows you to keep feeling good about yourself and to learn from what happened.
- The 3 powerful ways that mindfulness and acceptance will help you with your self-esteem (and I’ll share 5 practical techniques and habits that I use every week to do that).
- How a 7-day self-appreciation journal will let you see yourself in a new and more positive light. While at the same time you build another powerful tool for whenever you have bad day in the future.
- 3 crucial questions that’ll help you to truly tap into understanding and compassion for the people in your life and world.
- Why it's so important to stop comparing yourself to other people (and how to do that).
- The 4-step method I use to handle the criticism and negativity people lash out in way that is more levelheaded and protects my self-esteem and me from getting pulled down.
- How to find your most important dreams in life (and make sure it's what YOU deep down want and not what someone else wants).
- 5 essential steps to break down your dream into goals you can achieve.
- Three powerful tips to help you to not give up but to stick with it until you achieve what you want.
- How to keep going and make your new and healthier self-esteem habits stick for life (instead of them being abandoned soon after you have read the last page of the course).
- How to let go of how you think you should be and embrace who you deep down are.
6 New Bonuses on Self-Confidence, Helping a Loved One with Self-Esteem and More…
During the winter and spring of 2017 I created 6 new bonuses that you’ll get free life-time access to if you join the course.
These bonuses will help you out with three of the most common things people have asked me about self-esteem and closely related topics since I first launched the Self-Esteem Course.
Bonus 1 & 2: How to Improve Your Self-Confidence: 20 Habits and Strategies that Work in Real Life + Workbook
In this big, 60-page bonus guide I’ll show you how to both to improve your self-confidence and keep it stable even when the winds are blowing hard and things feel scary and uncertain.
You’ll for example learn how to:
- Do a somewhat odd but effective 2-minute exercise in the morning to set a confident and positive tone for the rest of your day.
- Get 2 more quick and early morning wins that will make that confident start to your day even better.
- Use one simple rule that helps you to get what matters done instead of getting dragged down into passivity or feeling sorry for yourself.
- Stop overthinking everything and getting stuck in analysis paralysis.
- Not let fear hold you back anymore but see through it and step by step reduce it so you’ll feel more confident and ready to go after what you want in life.
- Avoid the most common mistakes that lead to a lack of self-confidence and to not being your best self as you go into a meeting or a presentation.
- Apply a simple 3-step strategy to finally get all the way to done with something that’s been at the back of your mind and sucked positive energy out of you for too long.
- Handle mistakes and setbacks in a way that helps you to maintain your confidence and to grow and to do better tomorrow, next week and next month.
- Use an easy 5-minute technique to feel a lot more confident when you’re going to a party, a job interview or out on a date.
Bonus 3 & 4: How to Boost Your Self-Esteem in Today’s Digital World + audio version.
In this guide – that comes with an audio version you can listen to anytime and anywhere – I’ll show you how not let today’s technology, the internet and social media push you and your self-esteem down.
- A 6-step method to find focus and to evaluate your information inflow so you keep your attention on what matters and avoid being dependent on online validation.
- How to handle your smart phone so it doesn’t become the biggest time- and attention-thief of your life.
- The maybe most common and self-esteem sucking mistake people make when it comes to social media (and how to not get stuck in that trap).
Bonus 5 & 6: How to Help to Improve the Self-Esteem of the People You Love + audio version.
When people have completed the Self-Esteem Course they’ve quite often asked me:
How can I help to improve the self-esteem of someone close to me?
In this quick guide – that also comes with an audio version – I answer that question by showing you how to:
- Use appreciation in two ways to lift your friend or family member up.
- Help out when someone close to you stumbles or has a setback.
- Share what you’ve learned from the main course in way that has a much better chance of getting through compared if you make the common mistake of getting pushy with the advice.
Frequently Asked Questions
"What if I fall behind?"
That is nothing you have to worry about.
This is a downloadable self-study course. So even though there are weekly guides, you can do it at your own pace and anywhere you like. And you have life-time access to the full course via the first email you receive so you can go back and review any material anytime you want.
"How much time does it take to do this course per week?"
It takes about 30-60 minutes a week to review the material and do the exercises.
And then you practice what you've learned as much as you like in your everyday life by implementing it in the situations you encounter.
So it does take some time each week. If you feel that you don’t have the time for this right now then ask yourself this question:
If you could greatly reduce your self-beatings and the time you spend on negative self-talk or on some piece of criticism someone threw at you then how much time and energy would you save for something better?
The Self-Esteem Course is NOT for you if..
- You’re still looking for just a magic bullet. This program won’t deliver one easy thing you can do just once and then you’ll have high self-esteem for the rest of your life. It’s a course that requires work.
- You’re afraid to find out why you’re stuck. You’ll have to sometimes dig deep to get to know yourself during these 12 weeks.
- You can’t commit at least 1 hour a week to reviewing and then implementing the course material in your daily life.
The Self-Esteem Course IS for you if…
- You don’t feel good about yourself or are tired of feeling stuck, but you know deep down that you can be and do more than that. In this course we’ll explore how you can change your self-talk, get a much more balanced view of yourself and step-by-step make a change from the inside and out.
- You’ve tried unpractical or vague advice about “just loving yourself” and that didn’t work for you.
- You’re willing to invest at least 1 hour a week on forming habits and a mental tool-box that will help you for the rest of your life.
- You’re focused on the long-term. You understand that there will be ups and downs but that you can make huge gains not just in how you feel about yourself but in many of the most important areas of your life – like love, health and money – by steadily implementing what you learn in this course.
Join the Self-Esteem Course Now
There is a time for a real change.
A time to stop self-sabotaging and start creating inner freedom and self-happiness so that you can live the life you really want. A time to grow, to start feeling deserving and good about yourself and to explore what you want deep down instead of holding yourself back.
That time can be today and right now. So let’s get started.
When you enroll in the digital and downloadable Self-Esteem Course, here’s what you’ll get via email:
- The 12 written weekly guides with the practical techniques, strategies and clear action-steps to take.
- The 12 worksheets with exercises to help you to better understand yourself and how to improve your own self-esteem.
- 12 audio guides you can listen to anywhere and anytime when you need a reminder or a boost during your day.
- The 6 brand new bonuses, like the 60-page guide on improving your self-confidence and the workbook that goes with it.
All this for just a one-time payment of $37.
P.S: I spent many years to get to where I am today.
I don’t want you to have to spend that much time struggling to find your way out of low self-esteem, squandered potential, often feeling down about yourself and your life or beating yourself up on a weekly basis like I did.
Instead, get a fresh start today.
Start to deep down feel like you truly trust yourself to be able to handle life and making the important decisions. Start growing and building your own self-esteem and life towards new and unexplored heights and horizons.
And remember, you have a 60 day, no questions asked money back guarantee so you can check out the Self-Esteem Course with no risk for you.
Copyright 2011-2017 Henrik Edberg of the Positivity Blog.